9 Feb 2012

I really don't know what to do, being a good person people think that you're being to extra or acting like so fake , being a bad person forever people gonna say bad things about you behind your back. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO DO !? I very tired I totally Don't feel like doing anything , hais ....

5 Feb 2012

Yawn .. Today is so tired tired went to k last night , then watching movie at 10.45 super early woke up prepare cab to hougang to take stuff, after that watch 小孩不坏。very very nice movie plus is like so similar to my situation now !! After movie went to have kfc for breakfast ? Train to grandma house eat lunch then play mahjong with them so so stress, think my hair gonna drop a lot ... Very very tired then 8.30 cab home home .. GOOD NEWS ! MY MUMMY IS COMING BACK HOME SOON ! But don't know when is it maybe after our Genting trip weeee ~~~~ oh ya of course I won't forget those who help me when I'm down when I really stress and I've no one to turn to. Thanks to egg, ah pa, ah ma, Lao zhu , Lao Jie, bro, Baobei, mao and those who heard my sorrow and console me . I really love you guys a lot ! I think if those days I've no one to turn to I'm just gonna be a walking dead without any soul in me and crying along, main point is I'm back ! Weee .. ~~~~ so you all gonna headache and take all my rubbish :p weeeee ...

4 Feb 2012

Third day of emo-ing last Night I've cried again, fall asleep at around 1 plus morning almost overslept , yawn woke up prepare then off to work, work as usual Paige left us , hmmmm .. Things gonna be same again , ever lasting forms for us to do.... Argh .. Then after lunch time actually nothing much happen mummy call and chat with me, after that asking about Genting trip during weekdays im stuck in the middle, not enough man power, mummy off for one month then maybe is the only time can stay with her for at least 3 days also good . But then hais I don't know what to do then I just hide inside my room, I cried ~ Cause I knew that the percentage of me getting leave on those days is totally impossible, boss actually asked me to choose nearest to weekend but weekend is more expensive then mummy said if you cannot then never mind, then I run out of the office and I cried. Lion came to find me and said that my leave is approve . I'm so damn happy till I don't know how to thanks them, but they gonna have bad times for this 3 days really really thanks a lot love you guys so much ... Weeee ~ then after work went to find mummy then we have buffet for our dinner SUPER FAT ! Then smoke awhile there are no cab damn ! Walk till so far and got in the cab . I'm so happy ...

2 feb 2012

Second day of emo-ing, today woke up actually in a happy mood then after that I heard some songs, I sing with my mummy . When I'm in car I can't bear with it I silently cried I think the rest of the month also should be like this I really really trying my best just to hide my sadness away, during work time I'm just looking at the clock wanted to fly over to find my mummy but I also feel that I'm sorry for my Lao zhu cause I can't help her for the whole day I left her alone. :( I walk out of office raining heavily I cried along the way to mrt since its raining and there won't be anyone looking. When I reach saw mummy I'm so so HAPPY ! Then bring her see doctor first then after that we shop some clothes for her after that they went off, then have dinner . That's all for the day but whenever I think I keep on crying ... Hard day ! When I'm young I keep on counting till how old I can see my parents then keep on counting the age between me and them when after counting I realize human will pass away one day and ended up in crying but now I keep thinking that I can't see them I don't have a family ! I really feel very very very SAD ! EMO-ING

2 Feb 2012

First day of emo-ing seriously totally no mood for anything in office totally like a zombie, hais no mood for everything, everything also do wrong. Hais ~ wanted to cry but I cannot CRY ! Cause I won't give up. Mummy just called me and tell me the whole story , about what happen yesterday, seriously I don't know why is he like that ! Is like this kind of words he cannot take it ! DAMN ! Then mummy confirm with me that she going to divorce with him. I also quite happy or her finally she found her own freedom and no longer need to feel all those pain she had . No matter what I'll take care of my brother I won't like him hungry like he did ! NOW! I'm standing in my mother role I gotta learn washing clothes . I hope he will really just fuck off ..

1 FEB 2012

YES ! It's already 2012 ! I thought everything will be OVER ! And what the fuck I saw ? When I just reach home I thought nothing will happen in the end that FUCKER run out of the room and push my mummy towards her face and she FALL ! And the glasses broke again . Its happening again and over again I seriously wanted them to divorce it's is really better for my mummy as for me I'm ok with it we all grow . I can just work hard and take care of my brother and I can feed him ! I no need that bastard help . Thanks god im still alive TODAY ! Im really sick and tired of it ! Saw this kind of things happen and happen again till I really got phobia with it ! Saw one time can at least last for a month in my memory but the pain still stays ! :( I really can't take it anymore im going to become crazy !! FUCKER !!!! I'll always HATE HIM TO THE MAX .

18 jan 2012

Time fly so fast , it's gonna be Chinese new year firstly I think I gonna get a big big bag to fill with a lot a lot of red packets haha. Recently have been going bugis again and again with my dearest ah pa (lion) LOL .. Haha bring "him" to bugis "market" to shop around quite addictive I think he can buy down the whole shop la ! Hahah. So damn fun at least I won't be rotting at home now and no need think so much , work go out till tired then reach home bath then bomb sleep. Enjoy doing the same thing again and again everyday got so much happening things going on . Meow .. Short posting nights everyone .

12 Jan 2012

Wonderful now I'm like living in a prison, asking me this and that argh ! PLEASE I NEED SOME PRIVACY ! Being a friend it's like so so hard already.

3 Jan 2012

Weee ~ finally is 2012 ! Thought it was a good start, but then im wrong starting from christmas eve i stayed at home like an idiot luckily my dearest colleague going out that's why I can tag along, count down nothing much just have some drinks with panda and some of her friends. This few days really very emo. how pathetic am I when all this special occasion came and I've no one to go out with, I've to stay at home :( i dont want ! I'm also afraid to mix around, people who knows me well will know what happen . Hais ~ then about the rest of the occasion ? I also have to celebrate it alone ? I don't want T.T I just want one group or few people which I really trust , 季节提醒我孤单. Sometimes I think that just work and work and went back home rest when comes to weekends I've nothing to do again I've to rot at home maybe the whole house is empty or my brother company me. I just wanted people to understand me accompany me and don't left me alone. Seriously I'm tired le I haven been crying for like months le which I think I make a great improvement the fact is wrong actually I'm trying to make myself busy and not to think about all this things telling myself that there is no one there it's ok ! I'm ok . If anyone of you put into my shoe and think about it when there's no one there and when you really feel like dying cause thinking this world there's not meaningful for you anymore. 我说我不哭是假的。我也是人有感情。stay at home keep on nagging nag and nag, yes ! I'm lazy this is the fact but I'm really feeling very very tired I don't feel like doing anything. All along the way I'm not doing well, I hate myself those people who have show me lots of concern thanks a lot to you guys. I'll never forget and those who have ever help me . Well well well ... I WANT TO FORGET EVERYTHING AND START A NEW LIFE .......


Ahhhhhhhhhhh ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


没人知道我多孤单。

10 December 2011

Weee ~ Friday night go drink after that seh seh go work during morning but surprisingly I still can wake up, then I heard a good news my mood is like flying woohoo, nothing much happen in office after work went to meet DARLING ! So damn long didn't meet her le, after that when bugis we go eat eat then walk walk around after that Lawrence came we decided to sing :D Went back to hougang plaza regular place hehe, then while singing that time some super irritating people keep on calling and texting NON STOP ! I si bei du lan ! If I'll her I won't choose this kind of guys and break off LONG DAMN TIME AGO. We switch to VIP room due to machine problem ! Haha we like WOW ! the room so power ^^ happy happy as If like real life concert. Sing half way quek quek came ! Then a while later somebody coming to fetch darling ! EH ! HELLO ! DO YOU KNOW HOW SAD IS SHE .. WHEN SHE KEEP ON CRYING DON'T WANT TO GO OFF WHO'S FAULT I SERIOUSLY TELL YOU IF ONE DAY SHE GONE MAD I'LL BE THE FIRST ONE TO FIND YOU ! YOU'RE THE PERSON WHO LET HER BECOME LIKE THIS.YOU KNOW WHATS THE FEELIG STAYING IN THE PRISON FINALLY RELISE YOU KNOW THAT KIND OF FEELING A NOT ? YOU ALSO CARE ABOUT YOURSELF HOW ABOUT HER ? LET HER OUT AWHILE CALL LIKE DON'T KNOW HOW MANY 100 X ? YOU JUST TOO SELFISH ! FCKING HELL ! SO STOP CONTROL HER AND YOU ARE ALSO THE SAME PATTERN AS ALL HER EX ! tsk tsk tsk ...

After that went back to sing, till now just reach home actually can be so happy but then in the end !! FUCK !