11 July 2012

Bloggy time early in the morning heard something which really pissed me off and totally spoil my day, as usual doing the same thing then I went crazy plan to make cookies today, bought oven and ingredient from NTUC pushing the trolley walk all the way home like 3 mad people on the road went home prepare everything, start to bake but not that successful can be eaten taste not that good, second try out put too much milk T.T time fly like so fast it's already 2AM ! Going to sleep soon .

5 July 2012

Bloggy time .. Not feeling quite right this few days maybe have been drinking too much and insomnia I can't sleep have been turning round and round. Now plugging my earpiece lying on my bed relax tomorrow is FRIDAY ! Weeeee ~ then sat I haven really use my new lappy yet ! Since that day I bought it No time to use it . Life is getting bored for me today heard people said that youngster commit suicide cause of relationship I believe his family members will not accept the truth . Tsk tsk , then what if the person is me will anyone will ever cry for you ? Or celebrating the special occasion of mine. I'm bored so bored ...

24 June 2012

I've been thinking to be successful how much i can make, this few weeks really not in good mood i don't know why every thing just mess up like this which i don't want it to be. Starts to get bored of my life and i keep overspent my money tsk tsk tsk worst part is i don't even know what i spent on. I should clear all my debts i need to really plan, time passed so fast i start to feel that i'm feeling old but i still don't know how to think i should be the one doing the best to make my parents proud but i think i let them down. I always not a good daughter, think i must really be more committee to my working attitude if not i keep dragging people down with me feel very sorry. People always push me along in my life but i still keep giving attitude think sooner or later i'll get sack no matter how many good people i met i just destroying it in my hand. I lost my balance and fall hard on the floor. I'm quite a loser i can't make things right letting people disappointed in me. i feel so restless so helpless everyone happily living but i'm still at the same spot wandering around. what is my future ? where will i be in the next 10 years of my life those people who hate me is pointing and laughing at me what can i said ? just laugh at me cause i'm nothing i won't feel pain. I FELT SO LOST ! Someone told me this before if i don't help myself no ones is there will help me up . I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS THE CORRECT WAY TO GO .

21 June 2012

There's no peace in my mind keep thinking a lot of rubbish, not enough sleep causes me bad temper . Early in the morning my mood is terribly down. Everyday like keep happening.Trying to make people happy and get ignore or i talk nobody is listening, can I just shut up and don't talk, my effort putting in still not enough ? Really !? Having quite a few days of sleepless night . Even ! My closer sister also lie to me ? So can I still believe anyone ? FUCK '! Just going to drink tonight and just seh

24 May 2012

I'm not going to give up, I still got a lot of things haven done, my dreams my achievements my goal . Having a really peaceful mind feel so good. So that I could thinks where am I gonna be in future how far I'll go. People comes and go, I've to accept the fact but I just don't wish to face the fact, as everyone know I'm a very emotional person . Can anyone be my guiding light ? Guide me to my path I feel abit lost somewhere. I just learn things slower than people a bit nobody born to be perfect ! Next month next next month and ...... Wow years and years. PERSEVERE !

10 May 2012

I'm EMO again !~ I think I'm just being too selfish I feel so guilty and helpless I'm like lost in my own world I can't walk out of this maze it is not so easy as what I think, I'm trying to escape in the dark emptiness inside me. If really I can turn back time to the most happiest time I've, I'm not letting go but truth is always so cruel.This is why people always said when you lost something then you will regret realise how important it is. The life I always wanted to have . First, second third .. And what's more of suffering when I've no problem im so bored and panic when I've have problem same this is human being right ? 20 year of life in this world hoping to see a little changes but it just seems like happening the every few years people start going off am I really that BAD ? I got cheated I have been make use. how silly am I to actually thinks that this world is so perfect how innocent am I? People said you will learn when you fall but I trying to improve but I still crawling,struggling to get up and I'm push down again like someone is stepping on me and I can't breath . I'm so going to be DEAD ~~~~~~

6 May 2012

Wow ! Good morning world I'm Updating so damn early .. I haven been sleeping yet so yup. While my mind is still fresh . Today mood is super fucking good seriously thanks to just the one person who really doom my saturday went out with lion then meet Lao da then nex walk walk , the message is like keep coming in ! NON-STOP ! Which really corrupt my while MIND ! I can't even think about any shit I'm just feeling so headache I cannot really relax sorry lion . Really very VEX ! Few days ago I'm complaining I'm tired ! YES IM ! UNDERSTAND ENGLISH and I've enough of all this bullshit it's just flooding on my head . Don't tell me everything is do for me because of me ! Whatever ok !? Enough of that firstly don't you think you love someone is a bit over ? You don't think so it's really too much pushing me all the way to the wall and make me feel so breathless even when sometimes the message when I see it i seriously dont feel like replying it cause WHY ! CAUSE WE'RE NOT EVEN TOGETHER ! YOU ARE SAYING ALL THOSE LOVE ME ALL THIS KIND OF TEXT HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO REPLY YOU ? WANT YOU TO FIND OUT ABOUT ME IN THE END YOU RUN TO MY FRIEND AND ASK THEM ! YOU KNOW IM SO DAMN STRESSFUL TILL I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE MY HEAD HURTS SO MUCH THAT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT DYING ! Thought I'm suppose to enjoy my life in the end I'm suffering because of WHAT ! Told you not to stalk me you said you will change but I don't think so it still the same . So you really want someone to be with you quarrelling everyday ? Yes sometimes I'm a bit ridiculous I admit it. First time we drink you cab me home you're hugging me second time we kissed in the cab don't think that I'm drunk I don't remember you know it's actually give me the feelings but just that everything is too late. Just fucking give me some time to relax myself I really cannot hold on to anything anymore I'm just mentally and physically TIRED I NEED A BREAK !.

4 may 2012

Back to blogging recently so much unhappy stuff keep happening I'm so tired I really need a break I don't want everyday facing the Same problem, now I know the feeling of pushing everything to somebody, feeling so tight there's nowhere I can find some space to even breath . The arrows is pointing towards me . " enough is enough ... Actually I don't know I've enough of what but really ENOUGH ! It's driving me nuts . I don't know what I want can anyone please guide me or tell me what can I do ? My mind is as plain as a piece of paper . No one knows understand what I'm saying .

25 April 2012

So fast it is already April . Times flying weeeee ~ I'm so bored , so tired how much sleep also no use mentally tired. Can I just forget everything ? And not think about those stuff . Leading in a simple and peaceful life is it so difficult hope one blink everything will be over .

22 April 2012

Things don't go smooth again, so damn happy that I'm being make use of again ... So if there's any problem just come find me ba, "FREE TO USE" . I still need to overcome everything, starts from beginning ! Fuck , why is it keep repeating and I've to keep trying to stop thinking about it, is there any machine that can forget everything happen in my life, seriously I hope the result the doctor will diagnose that i've cancer and tell me you're going to die I think in my last part of my life I'll be happy cause I think those who have left me behind or forget me will remember me in my last part of my life i dont have to suffer anymore I don't have to think , I don't need to run I don't have to quarrel , I don't need to be angry or sad anymore, I don't need to cry. People who knows me before no longer contact thanks for helping me in my life when I need help. People who I still contacting with thanks for the help and you guys always will be there for me . YES ! That's how pathetic is my life LAUGH AT ME .