26 March 2014

Blogging time, didn't really have time to update everyday being so tired had been drinking almost every night seriously to put myself to sleep who will understand that kind of feeling I got no choice, if not I couldn't sleep, i really have been thinking a lot. The past when we're out for dinner or drink talking rubbish talking about life ,although it's just a few hour I cherish every moment but now everything seems to be so different I can't find anyone out there to talk to say how Im feeling,even during work  whenever I think about it I don't know when we become so far apart each other, I don't even know when this happen , those moments when we're disturbing each other seriously I feel like crying when I think back I've been controlling all the time when my tears is about to drop, seriously I admit I'm WEAK, I'm soft spoken person those people who knows me well knew I don't really talk that's the true me people could easily make use of me or can find me whenever they're bored or lonely or etc ... I've repeated myself too many times I'm tired I don't want to repeat myself again. If you think that I have been thinking too much asked yourself how close we are in the passed ? Don't you find any different last time and now ? If you don't get it never mind let it be the passed, I'll try my very best to forget everything take it as it never happen before I'll try to act like normal I won't care anymore,let it be, let me to be emo.  I'm tired of explaining, saying what's on my mind , everyone got their life to live on, I couldn't change much. I gotta let it go.

14 Jan 2014

This is my first post for this year, everything is not smooth at all although it's a NEW YEAR. i might offense people at times but seriously I doesnt mean it hope people don't take it to heart, have been quite moody nowadays don't really want to talk or meet friends. I know everybody have their own life Im quite irritating but who knows most of the time I've nobody to talk to ? Im afraid like destroying people happiness when I really really didn't do anything wrong but turn out to be my fault when I meet those friends who is attached too regularly their partner isn't happy with me. Yes I'm lonely, I'm isolating in a corner quietly till no one actually realize I exist. I feel lost, getting older and older by days when I turn around actually I left with nothing.The dreams, plans everything is gone. I didnt do anything bad why am I in this state. Every year is getting WORST. Emo-ing T.T  I really give up everything I don't wish to think how I wish I'm in coma state so I won't think about anything then everybody can just forget about me. Life is too stress and tiring for me. 

Self reflect

All promises is just a lies to me, the only thing is disappointment what else ? Everyone is just letting me down, making me hard to trust anyone now Why ? Or am I too easy to get cheated ? 

Future

I'm turning 21 in just a few days time, starting to think what I want to do ? How to achieve a better life for my family and me ? I still lots of things not done, I want to study, I want to continue my music path, I want to learn piano,drums and guitar. I want to earn lots of lots of money, money is never enough in this society T.T 

Daily life

Boring ~~ work go home watch dramas and sleep, next day, wake up work then home zzz.. I'm gonna turn into a mushrooms soon.  

September

Few more weeks to 21st but I'm disappointed, this year birthday there won't be any celebration due to last year birthday my uncle fought with my uncle in the end now turn out to be my fault ! My mum gave me the best answer is "to prevent last year scenario happening so there won't be any celebration, you ownself go celebrate"IT ISN'T MY FAULT I DIDN'T CAUSE THEM TO FIGHT !  thank to her this words and all along the way criticize all my friends and whoever is with me said they are not good this and that whatever so everything turn up to be like that till now im all ALONE. I've saw most of my friends who is turning 21st had a great time spending with family, relative and friends Who dont wish to have this kind of unforgettable birthday celebration,  In few weeks time is my birthday I'm thinking what am I suppose to do ? Or should I just take it just an ordinary day to pass, really such a disappointment to hear these words said from her. Hais ~ I don't know what words to describe my feelings. 

还是要孤单的度过吗？

永远孤单 forever alone

Here comes my emo post for the day, I always be the most irritating and annoying person in the office doing nonsense stuff to make people happy, normally I'm a very shy and quiet person quite anti social. When I'm alone, I've been thinking is it because I'm not an out going person,Yes indeed I'm quite a boring person when I need someone to talk to there's actually no one there. 我觉得我很可怜、看着别人有好多人陪伴着而我只能每天放工回家、其实我一点也不开心。我到底犯了什么错为什么一之以来都是一个人，我对朋友都很好但是我每次都被忽略了、这些小小的片段在我脑海里复线快乐的时光每次都过的这么快、人来了又走我怕了，我也不想想这么多会让我更伤心难过、我只能在这里埋怨。每次自己一个人的时候都是哭着睡觉。好难过喔T.T 

这首歌真适合我

一半-丁当

喝酒的伴 一起看電影的伴
早午晚餐的那個伴
朋友不能留得太晚 明天要上班
唱K的伴 一起去旅行的伴
聽懂我的笑話的伴
我的生活 只差那個人就美滿

快樂少一人分享 快樂就只剩一半
喝一碗湯
心怎麼都不夠暖
這張被單 這張睡床
再舒服都覺得太寬
沒人分享 幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填滿
節日卻提醒我孤單

沒有想法 有想法又能怎樣
只能寫部落格整晚

幾個留言安慰不了 心裡的遺憾
沒有負擔 原來也是種負擔
自由多得讓人心慌
你羨慕我 那要不要跟我交換

快樂少一人分享 快樂就只剩一半
喝一碗湯 心怎麼都不夠暖
這張被單 這張睡床
再舒服都覺得太寬
沒人分享 幸福就只剩一半
努力把日子都填滿
別來提醒 我多孤單

快樂少一人分享 快樂就只剩一半
喝一碗湯 心怎麼都不夠暖
這張被單 這張睡床
再舒服都覺得太寬
沒人分享 幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填滿
沒人知道 我多孤單

19th July 2013

I'm back to make a post today, this few days really think a lot because of those words in my mind. Is it really worth ? all along I'm just being dumb ? The answer is "YES". I'm really dumb and I finally see the truth after this few years human do change, people In my life which I think is innocent well I guess I'm all WRONG. Anybody advise me what can I do? The way i treat people isnt good enough ? but why i got all this ? or am i being to nice/kind ? How I wish everything can turn back just a click away. I thought everything is so simple.i realize everyone change expect me standing in the same spot. I dont need sympathize me,Regarding work or friends this 2, I  should continue to be anti social I shouldn't talk to anyone I'll keep my mouth shut and won't make any unnecessary comments to make things worst. Anyway I'm also use to be alone with any accompany so what's the big deal ? I live not to satisfied everybody in the world at time I could be a joker but a joker will also be tired one day,when realizing the jokes starts to get bored and nobody is laughing. This few days I'm like so damn tired I've been resting early everyday but till noon around 2 to 3 I could just dose off and the period of time my mind is totally blank, work work and still work theres nothing else, maybe is time for me to grow up to be more mature. Without any delay sat im gonna register for my car license and just gonna work hard and passed the test. Weeeee ~

Always alone :)

Confuse , refuse, defuse,

Finally back to blogging, everything is change there are so much things happening .thanks to someone who kept pestering me, it's so damn irritating and quite pissed off for me to handle this kind of stuff why make things so difficult it's just making a fool of himself.Too bad my patience have reach to a limit .

Less than a week time going to Bangkok soon, woohoo ~ this is my first time in my life going overseas with my friends damn exciting don't know how the place looks like. just gonna relax myself over there, no computer no phone calls. Peace

I'm thinking how to spent my free time rather than staying home rot and not doing anything wasting my time, But guess before talking about this topic I should be more socialize with people out there I must talk a lot a lot :X but thanks god at least you didn't take whatever I've, I still have people around who cared for me, who willing to listen to my nonsense, who willing to listen to my rants .

24 November 2012

Today was a very rushing day for me, woke up early in the morning and there's no cab at my house estate so many people are waiting wondering where is all the cab gone to, I'm so so late decided to take a bus to pasir ris whitesand better over there plenty of cab waiting for passenger, work is ok nothing special after work went home change everything don't really have the time for lunch ,as usual very shy don't dare to talk, people there is friendly :) hopefully can get along well and work hard together for our dreams . My mummy got her note II was damn happy exploring it then I process to kbox not really in a mood to sing cause just 2 of us. Overall is a good good day for me hehe ~

18 November 2012

I guess it's time to me to reconsider everything again but I've no clues which path I should go, I've somehow lost interest in my work and everything , this kind of feeling really pissing me, making me hate myself more !

16 November 2012

I'm back blogging life is as usual but there's something new in my life. I got Selected for audition , was actually quite scary but i mange to endure I'm at the beginning of my dream, My training will be starting soon on the 24 November woohoo ~ Quite exciting but hopefully i won't be so quiet anymore, Wonder should i works harder towards my dream and become a career  or just take it as a interest maybe should finish my course then decide the future, i'm lack of confident i need some supporters ! ~

Upcoming our family trip it's finally reaching omg ~ this is the first time our family went overseas together gonna be fun, 7D6N at Taiwan ^^ The weather confirm will be cold, i should bring thicker clothes, hohoho i want to buy a lots of stuff back. weeeeeeee ~

This few days not really paying attention to my work not like last time, don't know why seems like not having interest on that anymore is it because staying here too long and so much things actuallies happen starting to get bored everyday and very tired everyday sleep how much or early is not enough think i've born wrong year should born in the year of PIG .

workworkworkwork !!!~~~