22 September 2012

Weeks have passed but everything it seems the same, I'm waiting hoping there's a change there isn't. 1 year but just took 1 day to ruin everything Im hurt but simply you just dont feel anything yeah ? I cried like nobody cares walking passed to the place we use to go. Never plan that 1 day I be losing you. Never mind as long as you're happy, I won't create more troubles for you I'll get back to where I suppose to belong. I can take it, it just few more months or years to overcome since I've so much experience on that everybody wanting to hurt me so much. Don't even ask me how happy am I ? Because I'm totally not . I'm gone, I don't know will you read this a not? You might be angry but this is what I feel.

7 September 2012

Woohoo ~~ bloggy ! I'm blogging after I drank thats maybe will build me more confidences. I would like to say thank for everything you have help me all along the way the jokes we have, those stupid stuff those laughter we have together. It seems to me you doesn't want to care anymore, everyone always tell me want me to be independent and be able to take care of myself but I've to say sorry I can't. I've enough of that words I've cry enough. I've been hurt Once twice thrice ,is my problem but I'm like this what you want me to do ?I'm having phobia I guess everything gonna be different now. You can just give up on me I've prepare the worst you don't even cares about how I feel I'm nobody to you maybe just a passerby yeah ? Partners, friends or whatever .. I'm sad enough, curse and swear at me I promise I won't fight back cause I'm too weak to do so people said that if there's any cracks there's no ways to cover it up. It's all my fault Im not suitable to be someone friend, I'm all alone.

17 August 2012

The feelings is so strong again till I don't know how am I going to describe it, I don't know is there anyone gonna read this but .... Do anyone thinks that sometimes giving one will be a correct choice instead of hanging there and there won't be any difference, I learn a lot some words is meant to be say and just forgot. Now I know words is nothing , action prove everything . The people around don't bear to leave but if there's no choice I must .

14 August 2012

This few days keep on having nightmare those weird weird dreams destroy my sleep arghh make me feel so tired every morning. When i want to sleep i can't sleep always spending time rolling on my bed please let me have a peaceful sleep. Yawn ~  work is as normal, as usual there will be people being the joker and make my day :D HOPE I COULD GET SOME SLEEP TONIGHT  ~~~~~`

11 July 2012

Bloggy time early in the morning heard something which really pissed me off and totally spoil my day, as usual doing the same thing then I went crazy plan to make cookies today, bought oven and ingredient from NTUC pushing the trolley walk all the way home like 3 mad people on the road went home prepare everything, start to bake but not that successful can be eaten taste not that good, second try out put too much milk T.T time fly like so fast it's already 2AM ! Going to sleep soon .

5 July 2012

Bloggy time .. Not feeling quite right this few days maybe have been drinking too much and insomnia I can't sleep have been turning round and round. Now plugging my earpiece lying on my bed relax tomorrow is FRIDAY ! Weeeee ~ then sat I haven really use my new lappy yet ! Since that day I bought it No time to use it . Life is getting bored for me today heard people said that youngster commit suicide cause of relationship I believe his family members will not accept the truth . Tsk tsk , then what if the person is me will anyone will ever cry for you ? Or celebrating the special occasion of mine. I'm bored so bored ...

24 June 2012

I've been thinking to be successful how much i can make, this few weeks really not in good mood i don't know why every thing just mess up like this which i don't want it to be. Starts to get bored of my life and i keep overspent my money tsk tsk tsk worst part is i don't even know what i spent on. I should clear all my debts i need to really plan, time passed so fast i start to feel that i'm feeling old but i still don't know how to think i should be the one doing the best to make my parents proud but i think i let them down. I always not a good daughter, think i must really be more committee to my working attitude if not i keep dragging people down with me feel very sorry. People always push me along in my life but i still keep giving attitude think sooner or later i'll get sack no matter how many good people i met i just destroying it in my hand. I lost my balance and fall hard on the floor. I'm quite a loser i can't make things right letting people disappointed in me. i feel so restless so helpless everyone happily living but i'm still at the same spot wandering around. what is my future ? where will i be in the next 10 years of my life those people who hate me is pointing and laughing at me what can i said ? just laugh at me cause i'm nothing i won't feel pain. I FELT SO LOST ! Someone told me this before if i don't help myself no ones is there will help me up . I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS THE CORRECT WAY TO GO .

21 June 2012

There's no peace in my mind keep thinking a lot of rubbish, not enough sleep causes me bad temper . Early in the morning my mood is terribly down. Everyday like keep happening.Trying to make people happy and get ignore or i talk nobody is listening, can I just shut up and don't talk, my effort putting in still not enough ? Really !? Having quite a few days of sleepless night . Even ! My closer sister also lie to me ? So can I still believe anyone ? FUCK '! Just going to drink tonight and just seh

24 May 2012

I'm not going to give up, I still got a lot of things haven done, my dreams my achievements my goal . Having a really peaceful mind feel so good. So that I could thinks where am I gonna be in future how far I'll go. People comes and go, I've to accept the fact but I just don't wish to face the fact, as everyone know I'm a very emotional person . Can anyone be my guiding light ? Guide me to my path I feel abit lost somewhere. I just learn things slower than people a bit nobody born to be perfect ! Next month next next month and ...... Wow years and years. PERSEVERE !

10 May 2012

I'm EMO again !~ I think I'm just being too selfish I feel so guilty and helpless I'm like lost in my own world I can't walk out of this maze it is not so easy as what I think, I'm trying to escape in the dark emptiness inside me. If really I can turn back time to the most happiest time I've, I'm not letting go but truth is always so cruel.This is why people always said when you lost something then you will regret realise how important it is. The life I always wanted to have . First, second third .. And what's more of suffering when I've no problem im so bored and panic when I've have problem same this is human being right ? 20 year of life in this world hoping to see a little changes but it just seems like happening the every few years people start going off am I really that BAD ? I got cheated I have been make use. how silly am I to actually thinks that this world is so perfect how innocent am I? People said you will learn when you fall but I trying to improve but I still crawling,struggling to get up and I'm push down again like someone is stepping on me and I can't breath . I'm so going to be DEAD ~~~~~~