24 June 2012

I've been thinking to be successful how much i can make, this few weeks really not in good mood i don't know why every thing just mess up like this which i don't want it to be. Starts to get bored of my life and i keep overspent my money tsk tsk tsk worst part is i don't even know what i spent on. I should clear all my debts i need to really plan, time passed so fast i start to feel that i'm feeling old but i still don't know how to think i should be the one doing the best to make my parents proud but i think i let them down. I always not a good daughter, think i must really be more committee to my working attitude if not i keep dragging people down with me feel very sorry. People always push me along in my life but i still keep giving attitude think sooner or later i'll get sack no matter how many good people i met i just destroying it in my hand. I lost my balance and fall hard on the floor. I'm quite a loser i can't make things right letting people disappointed in me. i feel so restless so helpless everyone happily living but i'm still at the same spot wandering around. what is my future ? where will i be in the next 10 years of my life those people who hate me is pointing and laughing at me what can i said ? just laugh at me cause i'm nothing i won't feel pain. I FELT SO LOST ! Someone told me this before if i don't help myself no ones is there will help me up . I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS THE CORRECT WAY TO GO .

21 June 2012

There's no peace in my mind keep thinking a lot of rubbish, not enough sleep causes me bad temper . Early in the morning my mood is terribly down. Everyday like keep happening.Trying to make people happy and get ignore or i talk nobody is listening, can I just shut up and don't talk, my effort putting in still not enough ? Really !? Having quite a few days of sleepless night . Even ! My closer sister also lie to me ? So can I still believe anyone ? FUCK '! Just going to drink tonight and just seh