24 May 2012

I'm not going to give up, I still got a lot of things haven done, my dreams my achievements my goal . Having a really peaceful mind feel so good. So that I could thinks where am I gonna be in future how far I'll go. People comes and go, I've to accept the fact but I just don't wish to face the fact, as everyone know I'm a very emotional person . Can anyone be my guiding light ? Guide me to my path I feel abit lost somewhere. I just learn things slower than people a bit nobody born to be perfect ! Next month next next month and ...... Wow years and years. PERSEVERE !

10 May 2012

I'm EMO again !~ I think I'm just being too selfish I feel so guilty and helpless I'm like lost in my own world I can't walk out of this maze it is not so easy as what I think, I'm trying to escape in the dark emptiness inside me. If really I can turn back time to the most happiest time I've, I'm not letting go but truth is always so cruel.This is why people always said when you lost something then you will regret realise how important it is. The life I always wanted to have . First, second third .. And what's more of suffering when I've no problem im so bored and panic when I've have problem same this is human being right ? 20 year of life in this world hoping to see a little changes but it just seems like happening the every few years people start going off am I really that BAD ? I got cheated I have been make use. how silly am I to actually thinks that this world is so perfect how innocent am I? People said you will learn when you fall but I trying to improve but I still crawling,struggling to get up and I'm push down again like someone is stepping on me and I can't breath . I'm so going to be DEAD ~~~~~~

6 May 2012

Wow ! Good morning world I'm Updating so damn early .. I haven been sleeping yet so yup. While my mind is still fresh . Today mood is super fucking good seriously thanks to just the one person who really doom my saturday went out with lion then meet Lao da then nex walk walk , the message is like keep coming in ! NON-STOP ! Which really corrupt my while MIND ! I can't even think about any shit I'm just feeling so headache I cannot really relax sorry lion . Really very VEX ! Few days ago I'm complaining I'm tired ! YES IM ! UNDERSTAND ENGLISH and I've enough of all this bullshit it's just flooding on my head . Don't tell me everything is do for me because of me ! Whatever ok !? Enough of that firstly don't you think you love someone is a bit over ? You don't think so it's really too much pushing me all the way to the wall and make me feel so breathless even when sometimes the message when I see it i seriously dont feel like replying it cause WHY ! CAUSE WE'RE NOT EVEN TOGETHER ! YOU ARE SAYING ALL THOSE LOVE ME ALL THIS KIND OF TEXT HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO REPLY YOU ? WANT YOU TO FIND OUT ABOUT ME IN THE END YOU RUN TO MY FRIEND AND ASK THEM ! YOU KNOW IM SO DAMN STRESSFUL TILL I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE MY HEAD HURTS SO MUCH THAT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT DYING ! Thought I'm suppose to enjoy my life in the end I'm suffering because of WHAT ! Told you not to stalk me you said you will change but I don't think so it still the same . So you really want someone to be with you quarrelling everyday ? Yes sometimes I'm a bit ridiculous I admit it. First time we drink you cab me home you're hugging me second time we kissed in the cab don't think that I'm drunk I don't remember you know it's actually give me the feelings but just that everything is too late. Just fucking give me some time to relax myself I really cannot hold on to anything anymore I'm just mentally and physically TIRED I NEED A BREAK !.

4 may 2012

Back to blogging recently so much unhappy stuff keep happening I'm so tired I really need a break I don't want everyday facing the Same problem, now I know the feeling of pushing everything to somebody, feeling so tight there's nowhere I can find some space to even breath . The arrows is pointing towards me . " enough is enough ... Actually I don't know I've enough of what but really ENOUGH ! It's driving me nuts . I don't know what I want can anyone please guide me or tell me what can I do ? My mind is as plain as a piece of paper . No one knows understand what I'm saying .