This few days have been thinking a lot of stuff in my mind and learned a lot, like not to run away from problem be brave and face it solve it. I'm good at helping people but when comes to me I choose to ignore it and always knows there gonna be people helping me to settle it, I gotto learn to be more independents. Regardless work, outside world. I should understand that people around me won't be there forever.
Relationship stuff seriously it's not as easy as I thought especially at my age, it's really hard to make a decisions. It's so complicated ! I always wanted one so badly, when somebody is always there for you at any moment.Till I saw a few cases, which really stop me and makes me think about it or most probably I'll be single for the rest of my life and become a nun.
Work wise there are so so much changes till I'm numb, when you try to speak out but you're actually talking to the wall. Feeling really exhausted everyday ! Don't even feel like going to work .The place is not I've been in the passed 2 years it so different and looks so unfamiliar. I used to work with interesting people around me joking everyday I enjoy working, wake up excitedly thinking what will happen each day what lame jokes what lame things will happen . Everyday passed so fast with this people. Now lots of wars here and there, lots of do and donts once made the wrong move you're dead. For me now everyday facing the screen quietly, don't even feel like talking, say what also wrong as well just shut the fuck up. People who knows me well, I'm a person with full of rubbish when I stop talking means I really had enough. Now I wish to save up and process with further studies to get at least a cert and look for another job I know it is not simple,but I'm willing to try.
Project superstar didn't turn out well, but it's ok at least I gain some experiences, pray hard those epic scene won't appear on tv T.T and ruin my reputation. I'll work even harder for my further upcoming competitions, I want to be known. I want to let those people who ever look down on me, people who left me to regret. I want my whole family to be proud of me, I want to bring them a better life , I want to give the best to them.
Rant ~
Unknownshira
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